Just another manic depression monday JK im not depressed I'm good!!

This is a shark sleeping bag. I think its pretty funny and would like one to pass down to my kids one day to show how funny I can be while being PG-13. I think it will also help them get over their fear of sharks, a fear I already concluded they will forsure have. I also would like to be eaten by a shark rather than be at work today. The atmosphere is weird in the office everyone is tense, its like a terror alert has been issued along with an amber alert. You can cut the tension in here with a knife or a great sing along if I can rally up the troops to do so. On the brightside I heard Master Minlingistics is coming back to the office for a hot minute to work a day here and there. Master Minlingistics was the original Logistics person before Reh Reh. She ruled that position with an Iron Fist and mean stare. She even used an abacus rather than todays calculators as she felt they were too slow and she was a showoff!! (play stereotypical chinese "Gong" sound) regardless it will be nice have her back for abit.

I swear I try not to showcase Veg Girl or bust her balls all the time but she keeps feeding me shit to bust her balls about. Its like im a mouse and shes teasing me by dangling monetery cheese in front of me (sorry that is an inside joke for only 4 people or so in this world) anyways according to Veg Girl Webster!! died this weekend. lol she had me rolling im pretty sure its not her fault she is just getting her black people mixed up! Plus I don't think shes part of the different strokes generation and more of the Webster generation as the shows were very similar where a white family adopts a small black kid. RIP Gary Coleman I wasn't laughin at your death as it is very sad.

According to Veg Girl this is WebsterJust some FYI Veg Girl this is WebsterI can see why she had trouble between the two (....cough!ignorant!cough...) lol...jk jk

Dennis Hopper died as well

Ok enough with the celebs this was my first and last wannabe Perez Hilton postParty Girl is working the phones hard she is in charge of a certain D-list celebrity they are taking around town this week. Monica is trying to make a game out of __ and is using hangman as a way to keep track. Back to work shits gonna hit the fan tomorrow. BUT first Im gonna eat some chicken for lunch and one of those weakass buns with cheese on top that they call Pizza Buns.

Yea I might as well do this I already put it in my title

9am countdown begins

8hrs until I get to start my car to leave the office. Not gonna lie I prolly have a couple hrs of work to do. No one wants to come see me on a Friday so no appointments are gonna happen forsure. Quiet in the office right now, the air conditioner is blasting which is keeping me sick. Monica is already telling me she ate her lunch for breakfast so shes gonna be talking about lunch by 10am. G dubbs is...is....is....I look over and dont have any smart ass thing to say! hes wearing a scarf??..no that won't do, he's rolling a joint at the desk!..nah thats lying.. I saw his passport hes actually from El Salvador is 35 years old! nah that was weak ..hes growing his beard!! hes getting his Sam Roberts on! thats what I'm going with. Party Girl just walked in wearing my favorite jean jacket. Reh Reh is getting sick of the dabs and the whuddup sista! hahaha.

Mimi vanished no clue where she is. Me, well after I'm done doing what needs to be done I'm gonna spend the rest of the day on ebay and look at stuff I don't need and try to find excuses on why I bought it when main chick finds out! what? I keep promising not to bust Veg Girls balls anymore so I will just let you know what shes up to for those who care. She keeps singing out the same first line of "You can't hurry love" for those that dont know its starts off "I need love love" and thats all she sings. I don't think she knows the rest. Im pretty sure she heard the Phil Collins version of The Supremes original. I don't think she likes black music!! Im kidding. She says she has no clue why she keeps singing it. I think she just wants a baby. I saw her the other day trying to breast feed a beanie baby in the showroom but I pretended not to see. At first I thought she was being funny and cute by stuffing its mouth with a dumpling of some sort. I was in shock when I realized she was actually trying to breast feed it singing the first lyric "i need love love" over and over and over and over and over again. I left after watching her do this for 3 hrs.

Sorry Veg Girl to broadcast you in that manner. This was for Montreal Debra!! and everyone who goes to Mandarin for the dumpling festival!!!

Get er done!!

I thought I would switch it up and talk about work related things rather than Veg girl day dreaming about cucumbers because "they can't break your heart!!"...awkward!! or MiMi rolling her eyes at Cptn Obvious or G-Dubbs getting mad at all the Glee references from Party Girl.

Our selling season is just around the corner for all of us or maybe not all of us at the office??what??

One of my pet peeves is not getting that appointment especially with those accounts that don't wanna show the love or bother to even commit to an appointment. (passing on my stuff is a whole other convo but I will get to that later if I still care)

I can't get an appointment

He won't commit to an appointment

She won't return my call

She keeps resheduling because shes ovulating and she is gonna meet up with her husband in 10 mins to make that baby

I'm just lazy my bad boss.

He rescheduled 3 times because his son keeps making it past the bottom two in American Idol

Welcome to the reality of the lowly sales rep. This is what I think bossman would say to you/me when asked why your account ain't coming in and the excuses, comebacks or thoughts I think you/me would go through our heads.

Boss: You haven't established enough interest. - (prolly true I think the oil spill in the gulf of mexico is taking the spotlight at the moment buddy or Justin Beiber perhaps)

Boss: You haven’t given any value. - (huh?? what does he mean??...crickets!!.......crickets??..)

Boss: You haven't created or uncovered a need. - (but i'm not selling the cure to cancer or Twilight fever!)

Boss: You are unable to or have not established any rapport. - (what does 50 cent have to do with our work?....ohhh rapport duh!!!...crickets.....crickets...wtf does rapport mean?)

Boss: The potential account is already doing business with someone she is satisfied with. - (damn! she really opened up to you well here's the thing im only 5'10 hes 6'6!! I'm pretty sure his is bigger down there!! wait isn't she married??..goddammit why cant I be 6'6??)

Boss: You have been talking (telling) instead of asking (selling). - (our families were both Jehovahs in the late 80's we have alot to catch up on)

Boss: The account doesn't see you as important enough to carve out time to meet. - (that fuker!! he said that to you??...hearts beating really fast right now!! furious cause you just went out of your way to buy a pirated dvd copy of P90X for them as a good gesture)

Boss: The account feels “sale” rather than “relationship.” - (eyes starting to get teary eyed..you just realized it aint gonna happen your not even in weakass friend zone just sale zone!!)

Boss: I just got off the phone with the account and they have an unfavorable impression of you, our company and our product do you care to explain?. - (hmmm should I tell the truth or use one of my emergency only excuses??..wait what am I doing I should investigate more before I divulge, remember who, what, where, when, why and how silly!!)

Lets get creative you're not going to let little things like that prevent you from achieving your objectives are you? - (im just lazy!!..haha thats the response I give to my own statement!! just wanted to let you guys know)

Send a plant, flowers or a small gift - You will be amazed how much ice you can melt with a small gift. Flowers can get through a brick wall no matter how thick it is even in sexual relationships! Ok honestly giftbaskets are kinda ghay I take that one back. (gonna stop using the word ghay, I watched Glee lastnight, did you guys see the part where the ghay kids dad ripped the jock dude a new asshole for using the word fag in his house?? I felt bad for using that word all these years I was upset it made me feel like a fag!)

Get close to the person who knows your account best - Find out what your account likes. His/her typical schedule - arrival and departure times. Gather information, stalk them!! Creep their facebook, befriend their mom and go on grocery shopping dates with her. Sleep with their boyfriend!!

Send a provocative email without being provoking...oohh you perverts!! I know what your thinking!!!..send me a practice email!!!! (note if big brother is watching the emails don't read any further) Ask questions or make statements in the letter that make the account think you and lie lie lie lie lie!!!. Don't sell your product, just pique interest tease them like how sideboob has that effect on guys regardless if its from a man or women and sell an appointment you need to earn your check or you might lose your job.

Take a risk, take a chance. Don't be afraid to make a mistake everyone judges everyone anyways, don't be afraid to fail remember Micheal Bolton couldn't come to your bday party but you tried which says alot, don't worry about rejection your doing fine eventhough you're not your moms favorite daughter.

I can't go on anymore, I'm tired of writing with all the time spent on this I could have used it making appointments!

Tuesday Tuesday

Back from the long weekend historically never a good day attention span wise. Everyone is in work mode and sniffling from allergies perhaps, blow ur fuking noses man!! lol. I'm sick too it actually started on Friday if anyone cares. I prolly kicked it up a knotch by spending a day at the beach yesterday with the pals and gals. No one at the office has really talked to eachother yet. Its kinda tense in here actually everyones aura looks brown and gray today. There is too much running through ours heads today. I think the long weekend evaluate your life talk they had to themselves is still going on. I have been at work the second I got in too which is good for the company! jk no clue why I would say that maybe Im feeling generous today. Gotta push some goods before the inevitable happens! what???

There's an oldie station playing right now and I can hear Veg Girl singing along to songs even "monica" has never heard of. Not gonna bust Veg girls balls today she gets a pass plus she got darker over the weekend almost pacific islander dark.

Party Girl is back from the islands of Greece looking like a local now with her sun kissed skin.

G-Dubbs is having a good hair day and is buried in his desk with papers.

Monica is in heat right now, "I don't care just give me a c*ck or somthing circumsiced or not I don't" lol that girl is nuts. I can't believe her kids are soo normal and she's what she is!! god bless her.

Reh Reh is training a deadman walking again!!! lol smh...Im starring at her right now sipping her YOP or whatever it is. She might as well be giving instructions to a ghost

2 on 2 off 1 on

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wow, I didn't realize how old I am

Busy morning, I have some denims to measure, we have a showroom to put back when everyone is free, appointments to make blah blah blah. I got a bberry msg from Mimi asking "what's a Polkaroo?" from a previous post where I called her a Polkaroo. I was like you know "polk a dot door!" she responds with a "crickets" remark.

Polk a dot door started in 1971 and went to 1993. I stopped watching it after 1985 I think. I caught an episode in the 90's and it was tacky, they had new characters for Polkaroo to run with. They didnt know there was gonna be a huge monster in Barney coming to kick them off the air. Each episode had two human hosts, always one man and one woman, although there were many different human hosts over the course of the series. The same pair would host the show for a week; the next week would bring a new pair of hosts. They would lead children in songs and stories, and interact with stuffed animal characters Humpty, Dumpty, Marigold and Bear. These characters never spoke or moved. The hosts would let the audience know what they were saying but we didn't care.
There were theme days the hosts would invite the audience to peer through the Polka Dot Door to witness an educational video, showing, for instance, how ipods are made, jk. When the Storytime Clock chimed, one of the hosts would visit storytime mouse, who had appeared next to the oversized blue grandfather clock. This grey stuffed mouse would usually be engaged in some activity related to that day's story. The would host would then tell the time in a deliberate, educational way before beginning the story

Each day's episode had a particular theme. Monday was "Treasure Day", Tuesday was "Dress-Up Day", Wednesday was "Animal Day", Thursday was "Imagination Day", and Friday was "Finding out you are adopted and your two dads are actually gay, they are both white one is 37 and the other is 57 and you are chinese!!". On "Imagination Day", the character Polkaroo appeared. Polkaroo spoke using various repeated exclamations of its own name accompanied by elaborate gestures. The meaning of this pantomine (for those wondering what pantomine means ie Veg Girl: act out without words but with gestures and bodily movements only) was to be guessed by us. This was usually followed by a song whose lyrics began "Imagine, imagine, you can imagine Polkaroo...". Polkaroo appeared only to the female host while the guy host was absent for some reason but we all caught on. The male host would return upon Polkaroo's departure, habitually exclaiming, "Polkaroo was here?!? And I missed him again?!?"

Gotta go back to work, I can go on forever about polk a dot door but whatchu know about this??

I miss being a kid, my biggest worry was losing my Consumers Distributing catalogue

Monday was a success

The day flew by! 90% finished what needed to be done today.

I bought an airbrush off craigslist for $25.00 gonna try it out tonight when I get home. This was the picture that inspired me to get one.

I almost got Sonic Walled!!

Beware big brother is watching!!

Off topic but this is Veg Girls new photo for her business card. The thing is shes still not sure what business its gonna be for. Some say insurance broker, some say real estate I think it looks more like a photo one would put when advertising their motivational speech at the Radisson Hotel. Let me know your thoughts

Monday, Monday

New week, fresh legs, clear mind. Back to work right away, gotta put the showroom back together starting to show things for Spring 2011. 2011!! one more year and then the world ends according to John Cusack.

The morning was a little crazy, Capt obivious was in the house and already made his mark.

Hiiya to U.K Don Dada for cutting off the hair I saw your FB.

Stay tuned for a guest blog entry from Debra Messing with a "what to do in New York" review

Betty is out of the office for a week.

Party Girl looks 6'4" today, Im kinda intimidated actually

G Dubbs is gonna sport a new Coif soon,

Veg Girl, is rocking a scarf today.....thats the most exciting thing I can say about her at the moment.

Reh Reh has training day again,

MiMi is pulling a Pokaroo,

Birthday Sex is playing in the office right now.

Monica hasnt laughed yet.

Happy birthday to main chick!! chillout I got Main Chick from a lyric from your least favorite but my number 1 "The Dream"

Yay 3 more days till Monday!!

Sad to say its kinda a slow day, sent out my product knowledge for the upcoming Fall season for a retailer I shall remain nameless..(cough! Jolt Curfew cough!) I must have looked over this thing like 40 times to see if I had any mistakes or something out of place. Eachtime there was something I had to change or rearrange or move or change or rearrange or move or change or rearrange or move!! Party Girl and Vag Girl have one to do for them as well. Party Girls looks legit and done pretty well. It will provide some stiff comp for office bragging rights when we have our fist annual PK competition. Veg girl outsourced her product knowledge to Dream Works Studios and James Cameron is gonna direct it. She has a hardon for Avatar she wants to be a Na'vi (the blue people) she even signed up for a scam of deal from this website that teaches you the Na'vi language. She prolly joined some facebook group and wants to partake in the conversations and bring something to their meets. Veg girl always has something to prove, did you notice I called her Vag girl earlier? not by accident (vampire/lesbian) jk Veg Platter you are not a vampire!

as aside - this is an inside joke for the office peeps, its 12:12pm and awkward just walked in!!! he cleaned up man, nice suit, new coif! I like him hes good people and means well. Almost looks like Howie Mandell!!

Anyways back to the p.k's G.Dubbs has one to do as well its for a store that rhymes with (cough..Gay..cough) he actually has to present his to a live studio audience. He used a shitload of paper so those people better make use of it. I wish him all the best, I know hes gonna use that public speaking technique and focus on the one hazel eyed guy in the crowd.

Sad day today, one of own is leaving for the motherland and will not be back. I didnt really have that much interaction with her because sales dept and credit dept don't mix well. Just kidding theres no beef that would be weird if there was one. I can't picture what the beef would be about but in my world a heated convo would be like this:

credit "Shut up sales all you do is go on the road for appts, interact with humans face to face on a daily basis. Go and develop relationships with customers and go to their weddings and their grandmas 68th bday parties and such. I get to sit in front of a computer all day and harrass people for money over the phone and by email so kiss my ass!"

sales "umm I just wanted to know if you had a toonie for the office lotto pool."

That was a weak convo lol!! Im running out of ideas....

Back to work, I have some orders to chase!!

But inside this is all I can think about! Who's with me? 3 more days till Monday!!

Weak ass joke of the day *UPDATE* from Veg girl

Just to recap Veg girl told me a really dumb boomerang joke the other day. Take a look back to refresh.
If interested I found the guy she met on the internet who told it to her. His name is frank and owns one of those toner refill kiosks at the Dr.Fleas flea market. Im not bashing meeting people on the net using skype, chatroulette or whatever they use these days.

Anyways take a look if you want, actually no I insist you click it. For the record his delivery was better.

I love the seashell border, I think he put them there so he can earn Veg girls trust. No way in hell does a man flash his boner with seashells as the frame.

Just hit me

I just realized this blog is only about food so far. Its supposed to be about the office, work actually happens here and there is far more interesting stuff than donuts.

I can't believe I slacked on the thing I do when I'm slacking!!!

I will start today but its also Friday so I will start Monday instead. In the meanwhile gonna check my inbox and start marking the important emails with follow up flags. jk

The players

Party Girl:

Veg Girl

"G Dubbs"

Mimi aka "Movie Monster"

Reh Reh aka "Master Logistics Trainer"

I haven't wrote about Reh Reh because I rarely have interaction with her. You can always find her training people for her position in logistics!! (where do I sign up so I can win most boring job amongst my friends?) she needs to be moved into sales. Shes a computer nerd that doesn't know anything about computers jk. I think she has been through 5 trainees and all have left on their own account. I think she needs to make her position more fun. She should lie and say they get to play minesweeper for ten minutes after every 50 mins. Shes good people.

Reh Reh at work but after 5:30pm she turns to this during the "traffic flow mix show!"

Monica aka "you have a very j#wish face"

I sit beside Monica all day, theres too much to write about her, in due time you will see what she is about. Picture a 50 year old with a 18 year old trapped inside their body.

And Me aka "bobble head"

Weak ass joke of the day

Its 4:45 pm

Veg Girl "what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back to you?"


Me (excited cause this is the first time veg girl has a joke to say)


Veg Girl "a stick"


Me (??????)


My response to her lame joke http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBUB2k9A5II

Thursday bites

Thursday doesn't really bite.

1. veg coworker wore the same shirt as me today. I told you she is having (vampire/lesbian) tendancies. JK u look like Carrie Underwood going to homedepot
2. Another girl who I failed to mention or introduce is leaving the island on her own account.
3. G Dubbs is having pizza for the second day in a row, he saving up for something expensive I can smell it!
4. Mimi aka movie monster aka baker - is rocking a biker vest (Mimi is a movie buff she prolly has like 100,000 points on her scene card at any given time) I think the vest is leather too, I like!!
5. Party Girl - is quiet right now, not gonna bug her just yet,

What started it all

Season Two of "The Office" is the shit, thank god they brought it over from the U.K. I want to shoot the shit with the writers of that show, they must be really funny or real pricks either way I need to crash their Christmas party or something before the show ends and see what they are about. It's a funny ass series, no one in my office watches it which I think is ridiculous but whatever. I keep it by my desk because I try to push it onto people here but I think everyone here loves Greys and Coronation St. In all honesty the show is dying abit, Steve Carrell is leaving the show after next season I hear so whatever. Just bring back Arrested Development.

oufffff...why do I do this to myself

Bad move listening to veg coworker, I feel the oil seeping into my body. I need that Dr.Ho colon cleanse formula. Veg coworker layed into me saying we are friends not coworkers but I'm still gonna call her that. We chose to mange on an italian riceball and ponzo to celebrate her heritage. Veg nerd called in to see if they would make her a special cheese ponzo and they hung up on her, lol what a nerd.

Nothing good to write about this lunch other than regret, my desk is covered in oli, my keyboard is covered in oil, my phone is covered in oil, my bberry is covered in oil,the gulf of mexico is covered in oil, my gel pen is covered in oil, my calculator is covered in oil, my projections for next year is covered in oil, my face looks oily! I need to find a lotion for oily skin types, my tapatio hot sauce is covered in oil, I look next to me and gay coworker is wearing a tank top and covered in oil but I think its on purpose so it doesn't count. jk! There was a whole ball of cheese in that ponzo. Tonight I am cracking open the Metamucil, cheese can make you constipated if u didnt know this already. Three fried items in one day is not good even for the person that doesn't give a shit about their health.

I put a post it note on my monitor reminding me not to touch my face with my oily fingers unless I want a nice white pimple to show off tomorrow, or I can just go wash my hands.

Sento per disgustare, ciao!!

Can someone kill this music playing in the office?? Guys if you are reading this! I feel like we in the giftshop at the Royal Botanical gardens. What genre of music is this? can you please tell me? Its a mix of hippy meets country meets folk meets Rick Astley!

Fat Tuesday

I have a dive of donut shop that is part of my morning commute. Come to think of it I don't even know the name of the place. The outside is drab looking, the neon open sign is missing an "O" stucco looks like gray paper mache after years of rain pour I guess. The parking lot is filled mostly with hard ass European tradesmen, you should see the fists on these fellas they are big enough to knock out an elephant. There is also your standard landscaping trucks and its tanned group of individuals. This place is the blue collar type of haven. I guess thats why the owners don't want to change the esthetics of the place. Thats their identity why change now. Inside you can tell smoking was going hard in here pre 2006, everything from the bankets to the ceiling tiles has a yellow hue to it. This is your old school donut shop with the long counter and those rotating stools. The prices look pre 1989 a lrg coffee and a donut is just $1.37 with tax. Standard fare is found here this aint no Tims or Country style. They do have a hot table of chinese food for lunch where I was told you get the typical Manchu Walk type of stuff for $3.97. I probably won't ever try their lunch as it has the same appeal as the $4.99 lunch buffet at the strip club a few blocks down. Behind the counter you will be served by a pleasant chinese lady. She greets everyone with the same "morning sir, how are you sir" its repetitive and kinda annoying (thats the dickhead in me coming out) when your standing in line but when your turn is up you are happy to see her and have that brief 20 sec convo. She makes even the hardest looking russian plumber crack a smile. She knows you by face and gets started on your order without asking. I got everyone at the office started on this apple fritter donut. Four donuts and a coffee for $3.23!! Nothing special in it just good donut, they hate when I bring it because everyone says they are on weight watch tip..please!! I see that smirk of happiness when you walk up to your desk and you see that brown paper bag soaked in grease. Honestly why would you pass up on fried dough that makes your shit so sharp and hard that theres blood in the bowl, increase the chance of constipation and stick to our intestines like spackle.

From the looks at the donut pictured above I think theres about 350 calories in it. Sitting and reading emails burns about 10 calories. Throw facebook into the mix bumps it up to 12 calories taking into account brain activity, respiration, and circulation due to your facebook creeping.

I am craving a pepperoni ponzo and a riceball for lunch..

United nations

I look to the left and right of me and I am blessed to be working with all nationalities in one place. My office is a melting pot! Straight out of a Martin Luther King speech being recited during black history month. You should see our microwave you can't tell what food was just put in there by smelling becuase the smells don't leave its amazing! If our microwave was a uterus and our different ethnic foods represented sperm what would come out is a ridiculous looking Jessica Alba or Javier Bardem!! lol A Javier Bardem with hazel eyes or a Jessica Alba with black hair and bangs!! lol

Right now this is the count in the office

Half breed: 3 -(jap/white) (ital/irish) (indian/new zealand)

Filipino: 1

Polish: 4

Pakistani:1

Jamaican:1

Irish: 1

Russian:1

I will keep you posted on a joke about 3 half breeds a polish, a filipino, a pakistani, a jamaican, an irish and russian as they walk into a bar.

See you all tomorrow,

Coworkers lunches

G.Coworker had a good Meltdown Monday lunch today, I forgot to take a pic, dude had beefsteaks with a side of asparagus and a baked potato for lunch!! In most countries it would be considered a dinner meal but thats how sales does it!!! hes sleeping right now beside me.

Veg coworker supports her local Eastside marios, dinner with the fam jam sundays! I think thats what her Facebook event or status said (crickets.....) anyways thats what she brought back from that great establishment a rose penne ala fromage!! eh ba da boom ba da bing!
Didnt they kill that slogan for the restaurant? I don't hear it anymore but then again I don't listen to 98.1 and John Tesh where that commercial only airs.

Party girl had tuna today, she has a fix for some special tuna they make next door. 6 bucks a pop for a styrofoam containing what shes calls "that's my shit right there!!" She aint gangsta btw I just make her out to be.

This is my remix for a tuna recipe

1 (6 ounce) can of tuna fish (if packed in water, drain it, and add a teaspoon of good quality olive oil)
2 Tablespoons of mayonaise
1/2 carrot, chopped finely

1/4 onion, chopped finely
1 celery stalk, chopped finely
Juice of half of a lemon
Pinch or two of dill
2 Tbsp minced fresh parsley
1 teaspoon of Dijon mustard

1 tbsp of sugar

Monday eats

I always try to eat good on Mondays cause I eat really bad the rest of the week. I think its that Monday morning drive to work where you sit and think about what is going on in your life. I know we all do it. I will call Mondays meltdown Mondays and let you know what I ate. It will help describe the mood I'm in.
I like to see what people eat on Mondays. You can tell the kind of weekend they had. I mean there is no scientific proof backing this claim but why not start that remix today. I had a big salad from the metro, I took advantage of the 2 dollar off coupon so it was prolly really old. It was a huge ass salad. The salad had a greek theme to it, can't go wrong with salty feta and black olives. It took me quite awhile to eat, the thing was never ending. I hope this does my body good and provide a good colonic tonight. Don't you always feel good after a salad. I always feel good after eating just greens maybe its a catholic thing?? lol. I think im gonna go plant some trees, take part in that blood clinic I always drive by and when the Jehovas witness comes by tonight I am going to listen but a good listen like stare them in the eye kind of listening.

What did you eat today? lol Im asking a the world wide web this question and Im the only one following this site right now que in Lady in red by Chris De Burgh to start playing for the sadness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt2YIpZWBqA

Review of the day "Tapatio"

Tapatio hot sauce, get to know it, its cheap its delicious. $2.37 at your local Price Chopper you will find it in your "stay out of Arizona" aisle....smh at Arizona.
I try to buy as much as I can when I hit my fav P.Chopper.

My review of Tapatio
scale of 1-10 (1 being bad)

First off the label: (+10)
Nothing says hot sauce with a sombrero wearing brown guy with a hipster stash!
Racist scale (+8) he has a sombrero

Flavour: (+9)
An excellent balance between flavour and heat. Think of Franks red hot minus the vinegar. A good choice for any Mexican dish you racist!

Color: (+3)
When you buy it off the shelves it has that high radiation level red but it dies off and turns a marinara red. Oxygen!! the hot sauce killer.

Heat level: (+7)
Good heat here, possible sweat glands on your nose if you aint careful.

Vegetarian coworker rating (+2) says "ehhhh...nothing to run home about!" honestly who says that? When was the last time you were out and wanted to run home and write about it. Veg coworker com'on (I am sensing undercover emo/lesbian/vampire/ tendancies).. You will get to know vegetarian coworker and her undercover ignorance. Have you ever been sitting in a conversation and theres that one person that makes it awkward without knowing. That veg coworker, heart of gold, always thinking of others before themself but everytime its a group setting I have my phone ready to play a cricket sound bite after an awkward remark or statement....

Gay coworker rating (+9) says "gonna buy some of my own!"
I don't mean gay in a bad way, gay coworker is cool I just cant call him by his real name so I'm just being an ass really. When I first met him he was like "hi my name is _ _ _ _! do you know of BeetleJuice the movie?" I was like "yes! I loved that movie and I started renacting the "Dayo dinner table scene where everyone gets possesed" he cut me off and said "don't ever say my name 3 times!" We have the same birthday....

You will get to know gay coworker hes good peoples,


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLOUqizemI0

Party girl review: (+8) says "i put it in my soup didn't I? leave me alone..shit man!!"I love party girl she can be mean at times but its all love. You will get to know party girl, hence the name she is a girl. She sometimes beefs with vegetartian and gay worker actually more so on the regular. I think party girl can beat up vegetarian girl if veg girl didnt have her bread and cheese fix.

Rundown:
The only downside to putting a bottle of this on the table is it's rather bland looking label if you can ignore the stereotype mexican smiling. A good, well rounded sauce that's worth a try, especially as it is very inexpensive, and usually widely available. The taste will prove familiar to Mexican food enthusiasts, it's somewhat similar to a number of other Mexcian hot sauces. An excellent choice for amateur chiliheads or if you're looking for a straightforward sauce that won't break the bank or excommunicate a portion of your guests... Try it, smell it, lick it, try to get to second base with it, you'll like it.

Welcome to my world

This blog has been in the womb for the last 6 yrs waiting for the right time to give birth. I bring you "I love you like morning coffee love jogging"

I work at a sales agency where we make dreams come true.

Not gonna lie I do work hard but I might not show it... but if you have ever worked at a sales agency you know there is at least 20 mins of the day where you can have to yourself to do stuff like this. Yes there are countless phone calls, emails, phone calls, and emails to make but there still is time for yourself. Please note as you take part in this journey you will notice some kelsey grammar mistakes run on sentences missuse of commas but please don't judge its prolly because I was posting when I shouldnt be.

The rundown, I work in a sales office with about 12 people, we are a tight group sort've like an orphanage that represents the United Nations or a Benetton ad or the afternoon shift at Burger King, all creeds, colors, religions and sexual orientations. My boss is cool I do like him, not trying to brown nose it if he ever does see this. We don't wear headsets if you guys are curious.

Can't tell you what we sell but does it really matter? If I said we sell exotic pets ie pandas and run an orphange for them after because the A-list celebrity we sold it to does not want it because they adopted a new baby and they realized that on our do not do list states pandas and adopted babys don't mix then great thank you Jeremy Miller!!! Shame on you!!










(Jeremy Miller was ben on Growing Pains)
On that note I thank you for coming by