I'm back!!

Herro

So much of doing nothing the last few days. Just been going over resumes of people that want to work at the store. Some interesting resumes, I have come across people with B.SC in sciences and stuff. That kinda sucks putting in all those hard hrs just to work retail and have me as your boss!!! muhahaha!! jk I do feel for those people. Anyways Veg Girl, G Dubbs and Just a girl has access to this blog too they will be posting up their stuff soon hopefully.

Hi A.Marsh(sorry still dont have a smart ass name for you,maybe stunning two's?? what do you think?? jk) Don Don, Bert(you lazy fuker, go to work) ThunderChief, Alex(I know urplay wii at the office) Debra Messing and Wifey(stop looking at my account you asshole!! jk ur my number#1)

Ohhh went to Wonderland with the old work(tears...jk) nice of them to bring me along. It was hot as hell, like sauna hot, ass sweat everywhere!! To the WINDOWS!! to the WALLS!! to the sweat drop down these balls!! lol no clue why that song is in my head. We went on a few rides, Monica was a pussy and didnt want to go on anything. I should have told her rollercoasters make women orgasm then she woulda jumped on no problem. We went on Behemoth a few times, second time my stomach really started to feel ill na-na and I actually wanted to barf. I didnt go on drop zone (favorite ride)oh well whatever.
LMAO at Veg Girl on the Behemoth, the girl was practically crying the first time around, in a crying voice this is her "I HATE THIS RIDE IM GOING TO CRY, IM CRYING, OK I CANT IM DEHYDRATED I NEED TO RESERVE MY FLUIDS, THIS IS NOT RIGHT, I NEED TO GET OFF, IM SOO SCARED, WEEEEEEEE!!! HOLY FUCK, THIS IS STUPID, IM ACTUALLY GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK AND FAINT ARE WE AT THE TOP OF THE HILL YET?" what a nut...lmao at reh reh and her cap, jk jk you have to admit it was funny.

See you all in abit

Today is a new day

Woke up kinda late today, I took the wifes car this morning and like always there was no gas in it. I went to the petro can (which was bought out by Sunoco awhile back so if you have noticed a few Sunocos turning into Petros in your area that is why) filled er up and started to look for breakfast.

I opted of Petro Canadas own Java Stop coffee.

Here is my review:

Blind Assessment: Gently opulent night flowers, orangy fruit and a hint of fresh-cut aromatic wood in aroma and cup. Soft aroma, sweet acidity, lightly syrupy mouthfeel, rich, round balance. Simplifies slightly in the finish.
Notes: Sold exclusively at Petro Canada Gas Bars. Petro Canada is a chain of gas stations with locations throughout Canada. Visit http://www.talkingoutofmyass.com/ for more information.
Who Should Drink It: A gently rich cup with quiet yet intriguing aromatics. Great for sitting by the bay window at your parents house thinking about the boy or girl nextdoor who ended up marrying rich.

Additional rating notes.

AROMA:9
ACIDITY:8
BODY:8
FLAVOR:9
AFTERTASTE:7
AGTRON:54/64

I also got a complimentary bag of those two-bite brownies, it was one of those smaller bags with 4 pieces. They were rather dry compared to what I'm used to. Not gonna bother checking out the expiry date since it was free with a coffe purchase.

So its officially my last day. They took my office key from me. I was gonna follow up with my last post of how to leave on a good note but nah. Veg Girl has distanced herself from me the last week or so and its been pretty funny. I will say a joke and I know she wants to laugh but she is doing her best to pretend its not funny. I have a bbm convo going on with G Dubbs and Party Girl, I asked if we can keep this going forever so I can stay in touch with whats going on in the office and with them. Believe me the office is such a circus I want to know whats happening here. We try adding Veg Girl but she keeps leaving the convo! what a c_nt!! lol. I have been busting Reh Reh balls more the last few days just to warm her up for the onslaught of a selling season in our office. I will see you guys again July 17th rain or shine. I just realized G Dubbs is in London and he is gonna miss out on Pride this weekend. I dont even know if he goes to Pride im just being ignorant assuming he would go just because he is ghay.

I guess for the sake of keeping this thing going I will continue to post random bullshit. Hopefully I get some characters at my place that I can share with you guys.

Im outta here!! forever!! bahahahuhahaha!!the office i mean - cough!suckas!!cough#

oh and if my ex-coworkers/ friends for life lol!! end up going to Canadas Wonderland after I have been pushing for 5 yrs to go for a work trip I hope it rains that day!! jk :)

oooooooooooowwwweeeeee 2nd last day

My second last day, I have to come back next tuesday the 6th for those who care. Gonna meet the new dude and Reh Reh to get them settled in. Gonna give them the bobble head sleaze training program. Gonna teach them cheat words to use in appointments like UPT (units per transaction) blah blah blah. If you would like to know some let me know they are great for getting out of white lies you have created just to get ahead.


Anyhow, I spent a good amount of time today reading articles on how to leave on a good note. LMAO there are actual articles on how to do this!!

Courtesy of the internet they recommend to follow these four steps


Step 1: Resolve your conflicts:
umm, ok.


G Dubbs sorry I called you an asshole when you stole the spotlight by wearing gold lamay tights to my cosmic bowling birthday party.


Just a Girl aka Party Girl - Sorry you found the lifesize hair doll I made of you sitting in the passenger seat of my car when you ran into me in the parking lot of Costco. I hope this makes you feel at ease and you stop wearing the hair net to work.


Veg Girl - I don't have any conflicts with her you but you prolly do with me so I will wait for your response or you can suck it up. Hey why don't you try eating a steak or something?? yay July 17th!!


Monica - Sorry I'm bouncing on you, hope you don't go nuts without me have fun with the new regime! If you wanted to know how I did it and lasted so long here you go:
When you have some on you, do a bump of coke in the washroom every 20 mins or so until you have no more. If they find out and start to judge you just offer them some.
Sometimes I do rub one off in the washroom to wake me up,
I keep reading the davinci code when no one is looking, I must have read it about 35 times now at work.
I learned how to day dream and still talk to you guys like im not in la la land.
I learned how to sleep with my eyes open, thats why my head keeps bobbing! im not really just saying yes to get out of the conversations, I am sleeping!!
As an aside Monica, thank you for telling me about how you did it with the sumo wrestler guy whose penis was thick like a pop-can.


MiMi - No conflicts with you if you have one with me I would tell you to "F" off!! lol welcome to Veg Girls world! lol


Reh Reh - No conflicts with you except you took away the excuse for people to say "what up bro" and "YO YO" and "Bozu" from me. Now they say it to you and whatever...(kissing teeth)


Im out gonna paint some doors for fun here. I will be back tomorrow! with step 2 to 4.

On the 3rd day

I bet you never saw a photo of a french hen before nevermind 3!! ..well me neither. Its really just one cut and pasted 3 times.

This is the office parking lot at 2:30pm. This pretty much sums up office activity today.

G Dubbs I see your car back there! what are you doing?

(Me and Monica working together to fill a garbage bag)

FAIL!!!

Since I am leaving I want to leave my mark with the bathroom situation at the office. This is the sign I am leaving behind. Not gonna go into it or elaborate. Not saying its anyone in the office, not naming names, G dubbs I know it aint you cause you bitch the same amount I do. Not saying its you girls either don't start rolling your eyes at me. Neways here is the sign I am leaving behind.

OMG REH REH WANTS TO SPEAK RIGHT NOW ABOUT WORK!!! its 3:09pm on a Friday afternoon, Im gonna tell her to look outside and check out the parking lot!

On the 4th day!!

No office stuff today, I havent really seen anyone as well. All of them are in meetings so it makes sense for me not to be included. If they want me to sit there and nod my head a few times they just need to ask and I will be there.

4 more work days to go and I'm gone. Hopefully Veg Girl takes over the random bullshit writing or something. I will prolly still add to it but I will be in a different work place so I will see how it goes.

I spend most of my days preparing my figures and projections for Reh Reh and the new guy. Gotta let her know about some leads and new accounts I planted the seed with a few months ago. (cough#soobullshit!#cough)

The other part of my day is spent looking at food websites

I like to cook and I like all things food related from knives to smokers. I can spend hrs in a grocery store if I had a chance but hardly do. Not gonna bore you guys to death with my random food fetish
These are a few of my personal favorite food websites visit them if you are into food

http://www.lastnightsdinner.net/

http://www.food52.com/

http://acqtaste.com/

http://chibbqking.blogspot.com/ (this is just some dude blogging all the greasy spoon stuff he eats)

On the 4th day of christmas my true love gave to me

Totally off topic but I ran across these new photos of Jessica Alba thought I would share them with you. Im pretty sure wifey is gonna bust my balls about these but whatever I personally know the photographer who took these photos. He is from Indonesia and his name is Muy Khock! (lol..very inapropriate)
No clue what the point of this photoshoot is about its actually pretty dumb. Maybe shes selling those new....ahh fuk it I have smartass answer right now. Im pretty sure you would rather look at these than hear about the 3 hotdogs I grabbed for lunch for 3 dollars.

Veg Girl just came by and entertained me with a story from her side job. She was actually crying from laughter when she told it. Actually not gonna lie it was pretty awakward for 3-5 secs because it looked like she was crying at a funeral or something. I love that feeling of laughing so hard you can't breath and your abs hurt. I also love when you want to laugh out so bad but you can't cause it would be in bad taste so you have to hold it in.

If your curious her story falls along the same line as this

http://most-expensive.net/coffee-in-world

Replacement

Long time no post, in all honesty I have nothing to write about. I can go on about dumb things we do here at the office but they are usually the same.

I sit and bobble my head

Monica farts.

Veg Girl bitches and complains about the a/c all day (July 17th!! pool party! look for the flyer in ur inbox!!!)

G Dubbs is always having a good hair day

Just a Girl mumbles! her problem is getting worse than mine! and I motha fukin speed talk mumble so its bad! jk

MiMi is always eating!she has also been in and out of the office the last few weeks - I think she goes jogging or does tai-chi in the back parking lot or some shit

Reh Reh is...I have no clue I can't see her from my vantage point..so to me she is obsolete like dial up modems and vhs tapes!! lol jk. As an aside she is movin on up to post up at my desk! they found a sucker for her position! jk jk

As you can see same old, same old

I also met my replacement. Honestly all they did was find a hispanic that wears a jean jacket, likes cardigans and white v-necks, dude dresses like me! Way off from the hazel eyed black guy I thought they were gonna bring that speaks italian and knows sign language because he used to do missionary work in Africa and helped setup schools in small remote villages (not sure if hes hispanic I didn't get a chance to smell him properly..hmmm...maybe hes Portugese "Sim, eu falo português!!")

He didnt put his hands together like this when he spoke

So its safe to say he aint italian!! FYI "This gesture is a desperate appeal to the Mother of God. It expresses exasperation and disbelief." For the record its not an italian thing as I did see a chinese guy use the same move and place his hands against his nose to block another chinese guy from using his fingers to poke his eyes. I love when I see this hand expression being used because its usually coming from a passionate individual and they prolly have something interesting to say or they are explaining how they just pumped this broad in the washroom.

I also have a thing for Gingers! when I see one I have to stop and stare like a crazy and if im with someone its like punch buggy to me and I have to let them know theres a ginger in the vacinity. Im always amazed, no clue why and its prolly one of the dumbest things but I just do. Ok honestly here is the reason why, the internet says "Gingers will be extinct in the next 100 years" and we all know how the internet never lies. Look it up if you want to shake your head at something stupid.

Ok wait back to my replacement, I got soo side tracked. I found a recipe for Tuscan style beans um um ummm!!

My favorite Drake song before he became drizzy, I will talk about my replacement next time..honestly who cares about him really!!

Cloudy day

Did my thing in the office, really quite again. More awkwardness in here, maybe I started this whole thing? just kidding, what started out as a snowflake turned into a snowball. I helped add to it and with everything going on in here its turned into an avalanche. To all those before me that have left and read this you have no idea what its like in here. Its still a good place don't get me wrong but man sometimes its just not right. I know I did start the trickle effect with everyone. The ones that are still here including me is what i'm talking about.

You know what I was just about to go into a sob story about everyone here but fuck it thats pretty stupid, I can't turn this post into "Chicken Soup for the Soul"

This sums up the office lately= AWKWARD!!!

Kudos to G Dubbs for the Jerry Mcguire type speech today (sorry that was an inside joke)

Wow I really have nothing interesting to post anymore, someone shit their pants in the office or wear white jeans and their time of the month hits or something please!! l